I have a question. My business partner and I have gone out on many occasions and danced around people she knows and could be potential business. Last night we went out to a restaurant, where she ran into one of her old business friends of 22 years. They had several singers and then a bellydancer perform. I also bellydance, and myself and another older woman got up to dance a little with her on her 2nd (and last) song. My business partner today was pissed off at me and said it was very unprofessional. While I respect her opinion, I just don't think it was as horrible as she made it out to be. I love to dance, it is part of my personality, and I don't think it terrible to allow people to get to know me a bit. What do you think...is kicking up your heels around people who you may want to do business with unprofessional?
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Los Angeles
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Re: Is dancing unprofessional?
Tue, January 23, 2007 - 11:41 AMhell no! how silly! :) -
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Re: Is dancing unprofessional?
Tue, January 23, 2007 - 12:16 PMDepends what your profession is and what that profession's norms of proper behavior are (and then if you care about them, which you seem to).
Many in Turkey view stage belly dancing as the ultimate in unprofessionalism, because of its long-term associations with brothels, prostitution, and other haram (sinful) institutions. But others, here, do not. On the other hand, San Francisco is so overrun with belly dancers I don't know if anyone has a moment to think if it might register on either pole on the ethical spectrum...
For a professional pole dancer, pole dancing is an entirely professional activity... -
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Re: Is dancing unprofessional?
Tue, January 23, 2007 - 3:35 PMI'm in marketing
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Re: Is dancing unprofessional?
Tue, January 23, 2007 - 3:58 PMIf you were out in a business situation, yes, your behaviour was wrong. BUT - if you were socializing, you did no wrong.
What you do after work - after the day is over at the office, is YOU'RE TIME. I'm off the 'clock' and I'll do as I please.
Tomorrow I will be as professional as my work requires.
You time off is exactly that, time off work. -
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Re: Is dancing unprofessional?
Tue, January 23, 2007 - 4:32 PMthat might work for a clocker not in marketing, but she owns a business, has a business partnership *and* is in marketing... there is no such line for people who own their own business, who have a business partner and there is no such line when one is in marketing.... what one does always reflects on one as a business person more especially as a marketing professional. a marketing professional should display that she knows the principles of marketing and present herself in the way she wants her clients to see her.
regarding the original question, i think the answer is "if your partner thinks so, and you want a good relationship with your partner.... it bears discussion". she might be overreacting, you might be overreacting.... but setting ground rules and sharing similar values are important components to have with a business partner, so this could help to define the ground rules and declare where each of your values lie.
even if i were your business partner, my answer would be "it depends"... (did the client recently lose her daughter in a freak belly dancing accident? etc)... i would certainly want to discuss it with you, and i might even discover for myself that there are times when it *is* ok, and you might discover that perhaps this time it *wasn't* ok.... i.e. that there is no clear line on "professional/unprofessional" for belly dancing.
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Re: Is dancing unprofessional?
Tue, January 23, 2007 - 4:34 PMSounds like your business partner may be a little bit jealous and maybe a little bit tight-assed. It also depends on "how" you were dancing. But I suspect that she might want to look a little deeper in to her motives for being so angry. She can be displeased and let you know without being angry. -
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Unsu...
Re: Is dancing unprofessional?
Tue, January 23, 2007 - 6:09 PMI think most clients and people you do business with would appreciate , in the proper setting , seeing you let your hair down a bit and get a glimpse of your personality .
No one wants to do business with a cold robot .
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Re: Is dancing unprofessional?
Tue, January 23, 2007 - 8:19 PMso you have a job in marketing. are you marketing belly dancing or are you marketing for a country club in the hamptons? know your client. if your client thinks it's cool, then it's cool. otherwise, it's unacceptable. -
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Re: Is dancing unprofessional?
Wed, January 24, 2007 - 2:47 PMThe thing was, it wasn't really a client. It was an attorney that my business partner has known for 22 years. I was introduced that he is a "friend" although afterwards told it was a "business friend." So this person wasn't really someone who'd we'd make a client. Although I suppose he could lead us to other people who may become clients. So I just wasn't aware this would have been an issue, esp. considering that we'd danced with other people in the past that could have been clients. I was told that she could get away with that because she's in her 50's but I couldn't coz I needed them to look at me in a way that dancing didn't constitute. I am thinking that a bit of jealousy may have entered into the picture as well. It is possible. Either way, live and learn. Thanks for all your opinions it helped me to sort out how I felt about the chastizing.
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Re: Is dancing unprofessional?
Sun, January 28, 2007 - 4:21 PMSorry, I'm just now reading this.
I must admit I felt a bit confused about this question. I was a human resources director until nearly nine years ago, (I'm retired,) and I'm under the impression that business culture has changed somewhat.
On reflection, I think it boils down to Anita Hill and Title VII. And perhaps the women's movement too. Those of us women who are a little older remember pre-Anita Hill business culture. One didn't dare dance or behave in a way that could be remotely construed as sexualized - it was career suicide. When women did behave in this way, it was construed as an invitation for sexual advances. It usually got one labeled as a bimbo who sleeps her way to the top. It was common for most women to be forced to contend with sexual harassment in some form. We had to behave as if we were far more uptight than we were to avoid being chased around the water cooler. Even with the Title VII laws, people had to get their hands slapped hard before the tide turned. Hard to believe but true.
But I think that the men and women who are coming into the workplace within the last ten years or so have been "brought up" with a different attitude. As I said I haven't worked in a while, but I would expect that these days if I were in human resources, I wouldn't be as busy investigating sexual harassment complaints now as I was in the early nineties.
The clue for me is the age of your business partner. Personally if I were a professional I would think twice before belly-dancing in front of a heterosexual male business associate unless he is under fifty. Call me silly, but it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks.
Goddess bless Anita Hill! If it weren't for her courage, no one would be wondering why we don't belly-dance - they'd know.
